Au pair becomes special part of Daniel Island family

Four year-old Pierce Walker settled into the swing on his backyard playset, eager for an afternoon adventure.

"Can you push me?" he asked the girl with the long brown hair and gentle smile.

She pulled back the swing and released it, sending Pierce giggling towards the sky and back again.

"Sophie, I love you!" he added, practically squealing with delight.

And in those simple words, young Pierce summed up just how important Sophie Soellig is to the Walker family. The 19 year-old, who hails from Germany, has spent the last nine months on Daniel Island as an au pair for Melody and Chris Walker and their four children. Also part of the clan are Lukas, 10, Noah, 8, and Elizah Claire, 11 months.

"Our story is not like the typical au pair story," said Melody, a busy, stay-at-home mother. "Because we require more…just to level the playing field. To feel like normal, we always have to have extra help. Always."

Indeed extra help is critical for what Melody describes as her "bigger, non-traditional family." Noah is a multi-handicapped, special needs child who has cerebral palsy, epilepsy, and cortical visual impairment – all of which require a higher level of care.

"After (Noah) was born, and we were pregnant with our third child, we realized we just didn’t have enough hands. We physically didn’t have the hands to do what needed to be done for the kids. So at that point, we realized if we were going to survive, we had to have some help."

Sophie, the third au pair for the family, joined the Walker crew about two months after graduating from high school in Germany last May. As part of Sophie’s program, Au Pair Care, she received special training to care for children. Once instruction is complete, au pairs typically spend one to two years with their host families. They may work up to 45 hours a week and not more than 10 hours per day. In addition, they must be given two consecutive days off per month.

"What’s great about this is they’re living in your house," explained Cynthia Altizer, area director for Charleston Au Pair Care, which currently oversees about seven au pairs in the area, including four on Daniel Island. "They’re going to show up for work! And these au pairs take it very seriously…They always become very attached to the children, and to the families, too."

The program’s website allowed Melody to screen potential candidates and plug in the variables that were important to her family in the selection process. The end result is a perfect match based on the family’s needs, as well as the au pair’s.

"You’ve got this huge packet of information about all of their experiences and everything," said Melody. "And then you talk with them. And you just get a feeling. You just know."

All of the au pairs placed in the United States as part of Au Pair Care are from overseas, a requirement for this particular program. And an au pair isn’t as expensive as most families might think, added Cynthia. The typical charge is about $1450 a month, or $7.66 an hour.

"People have this misconception that it’s just really for wealthy families," Cynthia said. "And that’s just really not true…If you have at least a couple of kids, it can be less expensive than daycare and more flexible."

For the Walker family, the benefits far outweigh the costs.

"I think the au pair situation works well for people because it can serve whatever needs you have," said Melody. "If both mother and father are working full time outside of the home, your child or children are in their home. You can walk out the door and walk into the door of the house that you live in, with the toys that are their toys, knowing that the focus, the emphasis, all day long is on your child. That’s huge. To me, that’s the most important thing."

Sophie gets up at about 7 a.m. each day, Monday through Friday, and gets Noah dressed and ready for school (he is a student at Daniel Island School).

"While I’m doing that, Melody or Chris get the other kids and Pierce ready, and we kind of meet downstairs and the boys have breakfast," added Sophie. "We just try to get them ready in time and get them out the door!"

She then helps with any other child care needs Melody may have during the day. But Melody especially appreciates the extra help and support Sophie provides on the weekends.

"Family events are what weekends are all about, and it means we all go together," she said. "…When we go out on the boat, it means safety. It means Chris and I can go run to Lowe’s and not have to take a child in a wheelchair or a child in a stroller. It gives us flexibility. It gives us a life. It gives us a date night! It’s awesome!"

The phrase "au pair" is a French term meaning "on par," something that truly resonates with the Walkers, who all see Sophie as an equal part of their family.

"I definitely think (having an au pair) is a life-changing experience," said Melody. "It definitely is for us. It’s so enriching for us. We feel like we have a family in Germany for the rest of our lives."

Melody considers Sophie to be "like a sister" and doesn’t take her dedication and commitment to the children lightly.

"We adopt an attitude that if they are mature enough to come across the earth and leave everything they know and live in an entirely different continent, speaking a different language, and working full-time taking care of my children, if I can entrust them with that, then they deserve to be treated with respect and as an adult. That’s the way I approach it and I think it works well."

Sophie will go back to Germany in July to resume her studies, and a new au pair, this time from Poland, will join the Walker family. Saying goodbye will not be easy.

"I wanted to stay here, but I didn’t want to stay without going to college," said Sophie. "It’s too expensive to study here, so I have to go back home. I’m really sad, and I get really emotional about it."

And even though she will restart her education when she returns, it seems she has already learned some valuable lessons from her home away from home.

"In this year, I have grown so much," said Sophie, her eyes welling up just a bit. "I have gotten much more mature and I’ve learned so much about myself and about what I want to do, and what I want my life to be about…I’ve just learned so much here, about another country, and about another culture, about how different families are….It’s just a great feeling to know that when I go back home, I always know that I have another family here."

For additional information about the au pair program, visit www.aupaircare.com or email Cynthia Altizer at cynthi2128@yahoo.com.

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