Au Pair/Host Family: Religion and Spirituality

An important consideration for many host families is an au pair's religious or spiritual background.  Au Pair Care au pairs come from all walks of life.  We have au pairs who are Christian, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist, and other religions as well.  On your au pair's application, you can view their religious preference and also their level of practice such as "always", "sometimes", "never".  During the interview process, ask the au pair about her religious or spiritual background.  She may want to go to worship with you and this will be valuable information for you both.  Other au pairs are not as interested in attending weekly worship but might be open to celebrating with the host family for holidays and special occasions.  Some au pairs have no religious or spiritual background.  They may or may not want to learn your beliefs and that is their choice.  I remember a Czech au pair who had never been exposed to religion in her home.  She was excited to attend worship with her host family for the first time ever.  I recall her delight when telling me about the friendly atmosphere and the physical beauty of the church.  She was particularly impressed with the stained glass windows!

I have had many au pairs who are not the same religion as their host family.  In these matches, both the au pair and host family need to be open minded to learning about the other's beliefs.  For example, one of my local Christian families celebrated Ramadan with their Turkish au pair.  A Jewish host family added some Christmas traditions to their Hannukah celebration to include their Brazilian aupair's practices.  One Catholic host mom and her Catholic au pair attended mass together, but at a Polish language church so the Polish au pair could better understand the service.  If a host family and au pair are different religions, there may be foods that are off limits or of special importance.  There may be holy days when your au pair can not work.  There may be holidays your au pair finds important to commemorate that you are not familiar with celebrating.  In all these above cases, the family and the au pair were able to be respectful about differences as well.

Your au pair may want to attend worship with you.  Or, if this is her day off, she might want to sleep in or spend time with friends.  A host family can request their au pair attend worship with them, but they can not require this unless it is part of the 45 hour work schedule and includes host family childcare duties.  One au pair of mine enjoyed spending her day off attending church with her host family and they would all go to lunch together afterwards.  This practice was discussed before they matched so that both the host family and au pair had the same level of commitment to attend together.  On some Sundays, the au pair did prefer to spend her day off alone, and my host family understood her needs.

In my experience, the religious/spiritual community is typically very warm and welcoming to interested au pairs.  This is a wonderful way for an au pair to meet new friends and gain a support system by joining a college group or a volunteer group.  I suggest host families research a few nearby places of worship prior to their au pair's arrival.  This way you can be prepared to offer suggestions to your au pair.  Perhaps help your au pair reach out to a member of the church by calling ahead for the au pair.  Often, au pairs find the religious/spiritual community to be comforting and familiar, a positive reminder of home and their upbringing.