Of all the new gadgets and gizmos out there changing the way we dress,  feed,  play with,  and work around our new babies,  perhaps for me the most interesting phenomenon is Facebook and other social networking as a means of documenting our pregnancies and babies.

From photos and videos, pregnancy announcements and updates,  week-by-week links from the likes of Baby Center,  pictures of your belly and ultrasound,  to announcing the birth and posting your little one’s developments and milestones,  your pregnancy and baby have never been so public, nor had so many adoring fans! It goes without saying that everything we post  on Facebook is instantly up for public consumption,  however,  there is definitely something about a pregnancy,  birth,  and cute little baby,  that really gets people hooked!   I am the first to admit that not only do I  Facebook stalk my friends’ pregnancy updates and baby photos,  but that I also loved getting those little red notifications  congratulating me on my pregnancy and birth.

Now, I am on the  fence as to whether I feel bad that my son Leo’s baby years were so private,  or,  on the flip side,  as to whether my daughter Maisie’s,  so very public.  I often cite my excuse for baby Facebook usage as being the fact that all my family lives overseas,  this being the easiest medium for keeping multiple people updated,  but maybe that’s just my convenient excuse.  I would love to hear your opinions on using Facebook as a means to document your pregnancy and baby developments. In what creative way did you announce your pregnancy?  What about the birth?  And do you agree with putting pictures of your baby and children on Facebook?  Message,  post or ping me please.  Or,  just leave a comment here!

Perusing the newspaper I often come across "Dear Abby".  I do not seek out the column, but I always seem to find it, read it, and then absorb some bit of wisdom from the advice given.

I laugh at the inane subjects that bother people, but then remember some way it has happened to me, too.  I sometimes choke up at the situations other's face and am happy "Abby" is there to offer some comfort.  Other situations make me chuckle and smile at the genuine joy found in a situation.  The column always creates an innate emotional reaction in me. They help one feel alive and connected to the world knowing someone else has troubles, joys, and crazy relatives.

Now, this may be common knowledge, but it was a surprise to me:  "Dear Abby" is among the most widely syndicated newspaper columns in the world.  I guess I am not the only one that thinks "Dear Abby" is worth reading.

I have to admit I am stuck between the old and new ways of getting information.  I stubbornly hold on to the home delivery of a newspaper.  But, I also get my news from the internet.  As I was scrolling through news today, I noticed "Dear Abby" was online.  I happily took a few seconds from the stock market and economy, Iran hikers' situation, and President Obama's fundraising endeavors to get some advice on life.

Here are some examples I found at "Dear Abby":

• High in the Sky is No Place to Teach Manners
• A Smile Goes a Long Way Toward Making New Friends
• Sneaking Snacks into Movie Sets Poor Example for Kids
• Issues of Identity are Serious Matter for Adoptees, Families
• Adult Son's Critical Father isn't Worth Trying to Please
• Dad and Daughter Disagree about her Love for Soccer

I know one or more of these subjects hit a note with you.  I even bet some of you clicked on the links to find out what "Abby had to say.  It is nice to be able to take a break from our news reading to get some advice on life.  Do any of you have a "Dear Abby" bit of advice to share?

 A concerned host mom emailed me to ask my opinion on Skype; how often au pairs should use it, and what (if any) limitations she as a host mom should put on its use.  What GREAT questions!  Here are some points to consider:

*Skype is a tool for communication with home or friends.  It is a free way for the them to talk and see family, so is very useful.  Often au pairs and their families will use it so an au pair can be a part of mom's birthday dinner, or for a Sunday chat. 
 

*HOWEVER, au pairs should never skype with anyone during working hours unless it is expressly permitted by their host family (ie, kids are napping and the au pair skypes to be a part of a special event at home).  Au pairs should also avoid long periods of Skype use at night, as it will certainly interfere with her ability to perform her job duties if she is tired from Skyping at night.
 

*All computer rules, including those related to Skype, should be determined at the beginning of the year. If the au pair will be using her host family's computer, she needs to understand when she may use Skype.
 

*Finally, be aware of excessive Skype use. Skyping with home daily/nightly, as well as Skpying for extended periods of time can make it difficult for an au pair to really connect with their life here in the US.  If you are concerned about your au pair's Skype use, talk to your Area Director for advice and guidance.
 

After responding to this host mom, I was very glad she had approached me. Their au pair had been Skyping with her boyfriend at home for several hours most nights and the family was concerned that she was not active enough with the children. Once the au pair understood the family's concerns and I explained appropriate use of Skype, her care of the children improved dramatically and the au pair was much happier. Her focus became less about what she'd left behind at home and more about fully immersing herself in the program.

Talk to your au pair about Skype and as always, share your experiences with us!

I was an Au Pair in Colorado in 1992. It doesn’t seem that long ago until you start comparing the ‘Then’ and ‘Now’, for example, none of us had cell phones, no texting, no computers in the house, no email – and of course no Skype or Facebook to contact my Loved Ones back home.  There was only an expensive landline phone call to the UK once a week, if that.  (Oh I suppose I shouldn’t forget the occasional cassette tape snail mailed to me from friends back home – though to be fair I did buy my very first CDs and CD player when I was in Colorado, the equivalent of Au Pairs now buying laptops and iPhones as soon as they land). There were no digital cameras and pictures to upload and share, just good old 35mm photos where you snapped and hoped for the best, trotted off to Walgreens to collect your precious packet, then  painstakingly placed the keepers in an album, only to show people when you went home at the end of 12 months!

Gosh how times have changed!  (and Gosh, how old do I sound?).  While we have moved on and up in so many way since the early nineties, the irony is that in certain ways  the very technology that now helps us to stay more connected also creates a distance that wasn’t there before, and as such my Au Pairs, armed with their shiny new laptops and skype addresses, are often more homesick than I ever was!  

With my Au Pairs now, I often see that as soon as it is free time, they scurry off to their rooms, shut the door and start calling, texting, emailing, Facebooking and Skyping people back home.  They are so connected with home, that it is almost as if they have not left, and as such are not forced to fully embrace their new lives in America, both with their Host Families and their new world at large.  When I was an Au Pair I had no such choice, and was forced into the deep end of American Life – which in my desperation for company early on, resulted in a disastrous first date with a Mormon Guy eating S’mores around a campfire, but that’s another story.  Now, at Orientation Meetings, I always warn Au Pairs against excessive contact with home (how mean must I sound?), but with the rationale, that they need to start getting out and making a life for themselves in the US, spending time with their new families, getting set up with College, calling the other local Au Pairs, coming to monthly meetings, and planning fun things to do in their free time (which don’t involve a keyboard). 

You as Host Family can help your Connected Au Pair be truly connected to the outside world by reinforcing these points to them throughout the year, especially if you notice them spending a lot of time in their rooms (which may well mean they are too wired for their own good).  While extreme, you may even want to consider NOT putting a computer (or even phone or TV) in their room, but allowing them to use the computer in a more public place (though admittedly this becomes trickier if they have their own).  While creating an early nineties atmosphere is neither possible nor that desirable, if at all doable, creating an atmosphere in which it is slightly harder for them to access a computer and all its trappings, may be a good move in the long run to protect against home sickness and loneliness.