If you’ve been following the news recently, you may have heard about a resurgence in the stay-at-home mom/working mom debate.  For many, (self included!) this is a lose-lose conversation leaving women (any parent, really) feeling guilty about the decision they have made and where their children are spending their days. 
 
Juggling work and children has long been a challenge for me.  There never seemed to be enough hours in the day to get it all done – soccer practice, dinner, and mountains of laundry haunted me throughout the day.  This winter, my work responsibilities increased to a point where full time childcare was a necessity and we decided to host an au pair. 
 
Little did I know that this would turn out to be the best thing for my kids and a gift to myself.  My kids are safe and happy at home with Mia and thanks to her, they always have a clean pair of underwear.  She has fit into our family perfectly and helps to make sure all of the little things get done so that we can enjoy our time together.  Having just one more set of hands to make sure tiny Lego pieces make it back to their bins (instead of left of the carpet to be stepped on) and lunches are packed has made all the difference.
 
Instead of feeling weighed down by more work, I have the surprising feeling that I am a better parent with Mia’s help.  It’s a great feeling, and something that makes this Mother’s Day that much more special.
 

It is one of the most exciting decisions you make as parents--what to name your baby.  To help you with the search, the top names from 2011 have just been released.  From babynames.com, the top names are Charlotte and Liam and from babycenter.com, the top names are Aiden and Sophia.  Baby names overall often draw from culture including TV, celebrity baby names, and the Bible.

In 2011, the popular name, Charlotte, draws from the hit TV show Sex and the City and the names, Fin, Quinn, and Noah are all from the TV show Glee.  Girl's names are staying more traditional and the trend will continue for two to five more years.  But, boy's names are becoming more unique. For boys, parents are tending to use more creative Biblical names such as Levi, Caleb, and Eli.

Also released on namecandy.com are popular names from the beginning of 2012 with top names of Aiden and Isabella.  Interestingly, the sound of Aiden is popular.  Several of the top boy's names rhyme with Aiden such as Jayden and Caden.  Isabella or Bella are both pulled from the Twilight movies and books.

Also pulling from Twilight, the Jacob vs. Edward fans have a clear favorite in 2011.  Jacob is in the top 10 names for boys while Edward is not even close.  Another successful film franchise and book series that is absent from the list of baby names is the British series of Harry Potter.  Predictably, Hermoine and Harry are not popular names for babies in the United States.  In viewing the names that are popular in the United States, I was wondering how our host families find baby names.

Having an au pair exposes host families to names from all over the world.  I wonder if any host families have chosen names from different countries because of their au pair experience.  If you have chosen a baby name due to an au pair experience, we would love to hear about it.  Please share by posting below.

For further reference, click here for the top names from babycenter.com.  Below are the top names for 2011 from babynames.com:

Girls:

1. Charlotte
2. Sophia
3. Amelia
4. Olivia
5. Ava
6. Lily
7. Emma
8. Scarlett
9. Audrey
10. Harper

Boys:

1. Liam
2. Noah
3. Aidan
4. Jackson
5. Caleb
6. Oliver
7. Grayson
8. Ethan
9. Alexander
10. Owen

The Villager newspaper in Colorado recently asked the question - is au pair childcare right for every family? What do you think? The Carter family of Littleton, Colorado shares their initial concerns of inviting a stranger into their home. Read what they did to get comfortable with their au pair before her arrival.

Independence is a funny thing. You want your au pair to be independent, yet not too independent. And that particular sweet spot is different for many families. Where is your comfort zone? It takes some self-examination for a first-time host to assess that and learn how to interview for the au pair that will fit. Here’s how the ends of the spectrum look from my perspective as an Area Director.

One family I know prefers to have an au pair who will sit and talk with them in the evening, watch TV on their couch, and more often than not accompany them on the host family’s weekend activities.  They match with 18 or 19 year olds who have never lived away from home and who have strong, close families.  The host mom is comfortable with a more maternal relationship to the au pair. This family has a lot of detailed rules in their au pair binder to make it clear what is expected and what is not okay in their home. This additional guidance is useful to their less-mature au pairs who are not used to being on their own and running the show. Oh, and their car has its own curfew. Their au pair may not be asleep at 1:00 am on Saturday night, but their car is!

On the other end of the spectrum, a local family matched with an au pair who told them she had close friends in San Francisco. This was fine with them, and when it ended up that the au pair spent basically all her off time and all her weekends in the city, that was okay. Some would say this was more like having a day nanny, not an au pair, but I would differ. The kids loved their au pair and she was a welcome and present figure at special family gatherings. They keep in touch with her now that she is back home, as they would a member of their extended family. The host mom has a relationship with this young woman on a much more peer basis, and this au pair was 26 when she arrived.

Most au pairs and hosts fall into a middle ground. Assess a candidate’s independence by asking whether they have lived alone. Ask if they have thought about how they will spend their weekends and evenings. A more dependent au pair will need more instruction and encouragement, but may be a real bonus for your family overall. A more independent au pair won’t need your help to manage her social life, but may require clear boundaries regarding when they can use their own discretion and where your rules reign.