Just in case you haven’t paid attention to TV commercials,  read a newspaper,  or been on the Internet  the past week or so  (the first two I can believe,  but not so the latter)  Yes that’s right,  Mother’s Day is THIS Sunday,  May 13th!  Now I certainly don’t wish to tar all men with the same brush,  but if you are anything like my husband,  you will have forgotten this Brownie scoring points day.  (My husband excuses himself on the basis that he has two dates to remember,  this one,  and English Mother’s Day in March,  but I don’t buy it,  sorry Mark!).

So in addition to remembering your own Mom,  you need also to celebrate your significant other this Sunday.  If your girlfriend or wife is pregnant,  or you have a baby or a toddler,  the onus is even more on you,  Dad,  to step up to the plate,  since mom will not be getting any handmade glittery cards or sticky crafts home from school.  Now don’t get me wrong,  you don’t need to go out and buy your partner a new car or diamond jewelry as many of the adverts would imply (although of course if you want to……).  No,  If she’s anything like me,  ‘Mom’ will be super happy with a bit of a sleep in while you deal with the kids,  a nice (quiet – is that too much to ask?!)  cup of coffee,  a clean house ,  and perhaps dinner made – ahh.. pure bliss!

So whether your partner is pregnant,  for the first time,  or the fifth,  you have a baby,  toddler,  and even if you have big kids or teenagers,  just remembering  Mother’s Day on Sunday,   and with a little though,  will be massive in her eyes.

PS: Having said all this,  my husband  might get off lightly this year thanks to my 9 month old’s timely learning of “Mumma” as I write this.  Yey,  I am so happy! – even if she is talking to the box of cornflakes!  Happy Mother’s Day.

A couple weeks back I wrote a blog about some of the latest inventions on the baby market, including a bionic baby suit that monitors your baby’s heartbeat. Well check out my latest discovery while idly surfing the web – a baby Jacuzzi!  Yes you heard me right… At a little under $3000,  your little darling can de-stress and decompress after a long day of well,  napping,  being cuddled,  fed,  dressed,  and generally having all her needs met,  kicking back and relaxing in her very own jetted tub! 

The MagicBath baby whirlpool also features colored LED’s for soothing chromatherapy sessions, in case you were wondering why the good old kitchen sink wouldn’t suffice for the job. Sure,  your kid will no doubt outgrow her spa bath by the time she’s one,  but at least she’ll feel pampered from the get go, and you never know,  perhaps there’s a hot resale market for baby Jacuzzis on Craigslist…?

In the meantime, while you’re saving up for your baby bubble tub (by which time baby might be a teenager), there are a few  perfectly functional baths that help get the job done, including the SpaBath which rather resembles a bucket but keeps baby upright and in the fetal position. The one I have is by First Years and can be used as a stand alone infant bath as well as converting to a toddler seat for the regular bath. Another one that looks fun is an inflatable tub by Safety 1st  - who knew there were so many variations on a bath! In all seriousness though, some other tub time essentials for baby include, a bath towel, flannel or sponge, cotton wool balls for cleaning eyes, a selection of bath toys (as well as a basket or bag to store said clutter), and the necessary baby shampoo, baby wash and bubble bath. With all this your little one should then be all set to soak and without sinking too much of your cash in the process.

As parents,  we have all at some point experienced a feeling,  look or even a comment that is negative from someone while out in public with our children.  Whether it be a sideways glance while in a restaurant when your child is not using his ‘indoor voice’,  or a tut,  shake of the head, or as I just last week experienced,  fingers in the ears,  when your baby is crying on a plane.  Oy  was I sweating and trying desperately to avoid the eyes boring into the side of my head!

Now don’t get me wrong,  I totally get the need for spaces and places free from children,  I was an adult (not parent) once too!  However,  having made that one way journey into Motherhood,  I now understand that it is even  more unbearable being the owner of said ‘misbehaving’ child,  suffering those dreaded stares  that in their own way scream,  “Will you just shut your kid up!” (and harsher thoughts besides).  As all parents know,  BK (Before Kids),  we were those eye rollers ,  but  AK (After Kids),  we now empathize with the likes of me on that plane to Seattle last week.

With this sweaty experience still in mind,  I have re- examined how much our society really likes children, or doesn’t, as the case may be.  Growing up in England I often heard from elders that  ‘children should be seen and not heard’  and I think this sentiment still rings true today.  People like to see cute little kids  – from afar.  But no one wants to sit next to one in a public place as they fidget and whine.   It seems like there are more and more kid-free zones like vacations,  hotels,  even planes.  Just last year Malaysia Airlines placed a ban on babies in First Class,  and recently  a family was thrown off a Jet Blue flight when their 2 year old had a tantrum.  This Youtube video about kids as cargo amusingly captures in a half- joke,  half-not manner this prevailing sentiment towards kids. 

On a personal note,  I would like to publically apologize to the folks on flight 521 from LAX to Seattle for the noise pollution my daughter May recently caused.  

This is probably the most discussed,  written about and lamented topic of parenthood.  How can I get my baby to sleep?  Stay asleep?  Sleep longer? I know at times I have resorted to all sorts of desperate measures in hopes of getting baby and myself some snooze time,  getting into contorted positions placing her in her crib,  creeping gingerly out of the nursery only to hit a creak in the floorboard and having to start all over again… Still, whether it be daytime naps or nighttime sleeps most experts agree there are a few tried and tested tips to help with this age-old baby problem.

White Noise:

In his famed book, The Happiest Baby on the Block,  Dr. Harvey Carp explains how when your baby is in utero it becomes accustomed to loud noise,  constant movement,  and tight spaces,  and that we should try to recreate this environment once baby is born.  You can download white noise aps on your Smartphone or iPad.

Swaddling:

Swaddling is another invaluable tool for helping your baby to feel safe,  secure and stop limbs flailing. Dr. Carp says most babies require this up until at least 3 to 4 months of age but you can continue to do so up until 9 months or so.

No eye contact:

Don’t make eye contact with your baby as you put him to sleep.  If your little one is anything like my Maisie,  they will do all in their power to stare at you come sleep time,  and it is all you can do to look away and keep from laughing,  however do try!

Routine:

Everyone agrees that routine is very important for babies once they get to a few months old. Try to set times for napping and bed even though you may have to re-evaluate these as your baby ages. Try to keep to a specific routine, such as a story, song, massage or bath.  

Don’t use crib for play time:

A mistake I recently made was to use my daughter’s crib for playtime activity after she woke up from  naps,  sitting her up and reading or playing.  Shortly after doing this I noticed she was having a hard time going to sleep,  and I believe this was the result of confusing the purpose of her crib – needless to say,  they should be associated with sleep only.

Avoiding  Sleep Crutches:

This is perhaps the hardest thing of all since if something works to get your baby to sleep,  us parents will usually do whatever it takes,  even if this means making a rod for our own backs in the long run. So do as I say,  not as I always do! Try not to feed your baby to sleep,  always rock her to sleep,  or allow her to fall asleep with a pacifier.

From one sleep-deprived mom to another, I would love to hear your tips, but in the meantime,  good Luck and good night to you and your little one…

My son turns nine as I write this,  and as I reflect back,  I think of all the things that have changed in baby world from the time my son was an infant in 2003, to now, all these years later, with my daughter in 2012. Having two kids so widely spaced apart I sometimes feel like I have also spanned two different generations of the baby scene and now when I hear of some new revolutionary baby fandangle, I am like a grandma saying “ooh they didn’t have these in my day”,  or “oh we got along just fine without….”

Some of the things that are new to me,  or at least didn’t seem widely available nine years ago,  include breastfeeding reminder bracelets, which my poor addled baby brain could have done with to remember which side baby fed on and when,   diaper covers (who knew baby needed faux denim to disguise her diapered tush?!) There's also the Bumbo seat, which my baby at least found to be inferior to her regular baby chair.  On a more gadget/technical front,  there is the baby bullet food processor,  the iPad and related baby apps as breastfeeding buddy, as well as ipod docs and speakers in strollers  (never mind that strollers can now spin your baby,  give him a cranial massage…). "What's next?" the grandma in me mutters and shakes her head. 

Well, since you ask… one of the latest and perhaps most radical things on the baby market right now is the exmobaby  -  a onesie that monitor a baby’s heartbeat,  temperature and movement.  At about a 1000 dollars a pop this high-tech baby suit will send alerts in real time to your cell phone or PC if,  God forbid,  you are unable to hover over your precious bundle with bated breath.  The website markets this new bionic baby suit as allowing you superior peace of mind,  however   the sceptic in me does wonder if this is really the case?  Wouldn’t you get more,  not less jittery and paranoid with your phone bleating out text alerts with every breath – literally!?  I think this latest addition to all the baby paraphernalia now on the market,  begs the question (as with so many other things);  how much stuff is too much stuff? And when is information,  just information overload?

Who doesn’t like a good massage? Well, your baby is no exception to this rule. I know whenever I give my children a massage, they get this blissed out, glassy look in their eyes, and all is calm, if only for a moment… Aside from your baby’s pure enjoyment of a massage, there are also some tangible benefits in taking the time to touch.

According to a recent study at the Tel Aviv University and the University of Haifa in Israel, babies that received a 30-minute rubdown every night for two weeks were more in sync with their mothers - they were most active in the early morning and afternoon. Those that didn't get bedtime massages were awake at midnight. The babies that received massages produced more melatonin, the hormone that helps promote sleep.

In addition to aiding relaxation and sleep in your baby, according to the International Association of Infant Massage, massage also promotes mother/child bonding, boosts baby’s immune system, sooths colic, helps with teething and skin conditions, and also facilitates body awareness and development. So, with this long list of benefits in mind, what are you waiting for?

The low down on baby rub down:

Timing;

Perhaps a good time to give your baby a massage is after her evening bath and just before bed (though anytime you are able to dedicate to it is better than no massage at all).

Tools of the trade;

Make sure the room is a comfortable temperature – around 75 degrees. You can put on some relaxing music if you wish (I particular like Dreamlands from the Putamayo collection), and you can also have some baby lotion or oil at the ready such as Johnsons.  Place a towel down on the changing table or wherever you can comfortably lay your baby for the massage, and lie your baby down with clothes and diaper off (and yes of course there may be accidents but babies typically love having no diaper on). Make sure to switch off your devices and switch on to your baby - be present and make eye contact.

Touch Time;

Begin with her feet and toes, moving up each leg in a gentle twisting motion, and also gently pulling down her legs and squeezing knees into chest. Rub her belly in a circular motion, then again gently twisting each arm, massaging little hands and fingers. Take both of your thumbs and stroke outwards from the eyebrows, support your baby’s head and stroke their back in a circular motion. As you practice, pay attention to what your baby seems to like. For more information on baby massage and to locate a class in your area. you can check out infant massage USA

Give your baby a kiss and a cuddle and tell her that you love her. Revel in this special bonding experience (and also hopefully in the blissful baby sleep that follows!)

When I was growing up we moved house a lot and so ‘things’ were more often than not, thrown out or lost along the way.  While I now understand my mum's need to purge and not let things build up with a lack of space,  as an adult,  I am also saddened by my lack of childhood ‘stuff’ and  sense of history… my prized collection of Enid Blyton books?  my Strawberry Shortcake collection?  some of my art work?  and just some records and photos of the things that made up my childhood.  What happened to all these things?

Now that I have my own children,  I have vowed to keep more of a record of vacations,  landmark events,  as well as the everyday.  In addition to the myriad photos and video on computers,  digital photo frames,  and though sadly less often, photo albums,  I have also compiled Memory Books to record milestones,  as well as Memory Boxes  to store other tangible keepsakes.

The sorts of things I have collected in my Memory Boxes include;  the odd favorite little book or  toys/stuffed animal,  even a favorite baby outfit.  In others,  newspapers from the day each of my kids were born,  as well as front pages clippings from notable news events in their lives.  Finally,  I have also kept  birth congratulations and subsequent birthday cards,  certificates of achievements , outstanding school work,  ticket stubs from concerts,  sports games,  and other notable events.  I am sure  as the kids get older,  and the memories build up,  some stuff will have to be filtered out for fear of boxes becoming my entire garage!  But for now,  I keep.

On some special birthday years down the line -  when they are old enough to appreciate the thought, and not roll their eyes at mom being sentimental!  I will present them with their boxes of treasures.  Who knows,  perhaps some of the old books,  toys and newspapers will even have some monetary worth beyond some childhood keepsakes.

Have fun making memories with your family,  but don’t forget to record snippets along the way.  It may feel  like just another job to add to the massive list,  but you,  your kids,  and perhaps their kids,  will one day down the line,  thank you for having such foresight.

Travel is a subject near and dear to my heart, as it has always been my passion and something I am not prepared to sacrifice simply because I happen to have children. With my 8-year-old, we first travelled internationally when he was 3 months old, and have since done many domestic and international trips ranging from camping to Vegas to backpacking in Indonesia. I have just now begun to repeat this tradition with my baby girl and hope to continue this for many years. Is it hard (and expensive)? Yes of course! But would I take back any of those trips, memories or photo opportunities? Absolutely not! Here are some of the things that I have learned, often the hard way, on my journey of travel with tots…

Travelling with babies. Many people will tell you to steer clear at all costs. I however say, do it, and do it soon! Once they become more mobile with crawling and walking (and before you can bribe them with treats, TV and other good parenting survival tactics), it becomes even more challenging. Also bear in mind that up until aged 2, you do not need to pay for a seat on flights, nor up until they go to school do you have to worry about working around school holidays, which is something my family still struggles with. So, my advice? Book that flight to Hawaii in February. Quick!

Getting from Point A to Point B

Plan for extra time to get anywhere, whether it be to catch a plane, train or automobile, or even just leaving the house in the morning for a daytrip. When we flew to Colorado we calculated time needed based on when we were just travelling with an 8-year-old, and forgot to factor in baby time. I guess we were a bit out of practice as we literally had to run, with baby, to make our flight!

Check the Airline’s Policies

Ordinarily, airlines allow you to check strollers, car seats and bases for free, and will allow you to take strollers under 20 pounds as far as the gate. Diaper bags also do not also count as your one piece of allotted carry on and can be taken as extra. If you are bottle feeding and have formula, you will also be allowed to take this as carry on even though it is liquid. If you are breastfeeding, hurrah! The necessary equipment  is highly portable and can definitely be taken onboard!

Take Advantage of VIP Pre-boarding

Always take advantage of pre-boarding since you have a child under 5. You will probably need to be at the gate about 45 minutes before departure to take advantage of this The good thing about doing this is that since you will be one of the first passengers to board you will also have a much better chance of fitting your cases in the overhead bins. So do maximize on what you are allowed to carry on, and do minimize checked bags and their associated charges.

Make Baby a Happy Passenger

Give baby bottle or breast for take-off and landing to try and alleviate ear popping, and hence screaming the plane down.

…And try not to take it personally, if you get side long glances, tuts and sighs from fellow travelers if your baby decides to squawk!

Make sure your diaper bag is super stocked with all your possible baby needs and that these are all easily accessible so you don’t have the misfortune of breast pads flying out in your endeavor to find the pacifier!

If you are going on an extended trip take enough diapers and wipes to last you a few days and then buy the extra you need when you get to your destination. You may want to invest in good quality ones that will stand the test of time for daytrips out, or otherwise face, as we did, many untimely blow outs!

Be Creative with Equipment

If you are not travelling to a friend or family members that has little kids and thus all the associated paraphernalia; cribs, playpens, chairs and whatnot, consider looking into companies (or ask your hotel about them) that will happily rent you whatever you need for baby for a daily charge. Or, if like me, you are a frugal traveler, you can get creative – we made a makeshift crib for Maisie out of a drawer lined with towels! If you are travelling to friends or family, discuss beforehand what they do and don’t have and also any other info they need to know about baby to avoid any miscommunications/surprises.

Keep it Lively

When going out to restaurants on vacation, or at any other time It goes without saying that you will want to look out for more family friendly places, happy to provide a high chair or crayons if older, and so you don’t feel frowned upon. I have also found the noisier the better. While this may mean your baby might not sleep, at least if she decides to cry, it will hopefully be drowned out by the buzz!

Most importantly, remember to have fun on your trip with your little one! Take lots and lots of pictures and video. It might be extra hassle and money to travel with baby, but the memories you will create are truly priceless.

Bon Voyage…!

So one of your New Year’s resolutions was to breastfeed/continue breastfeeding your baby this year…? Now you just got back to work after the Holidays, armed with your Medela Pump in Style breast pump (hopefully not a Christmas present!) and you’re scratching your head wondering how this is all going to work..?

A Federal law passed by President Obama in 2010 stipulates that employers must not discriminate against breastfeeding mothers in the workplace. This means allowing time to express or nurse their babies as well as a private place to do so for the first 12 months. Additionally, 24 states have their own labor laws protecting lactating mothers at work.

The best thing you can probably do is to plan ahead; research the law in your specific State and then go armed with this information to your Boss and/or HR Department to discuss the specifics of how you can all make this work for the best.

You can also get additional support on how to juggle breastfeeding and pumping upon returning to work at your local breastfeeding support group (usually offered at hospitals) or from the La Leche League.

While it may seem a trial to try and continue breastfeeding after returning to work, you do have the law on your side as well as support if you look for it. The joys and benefits of breastfeeding are worth the extra effort and in many ways make life easier not harder. Good Luck and enjoy!