What your child wears on his or her first day back to school can make a lasting impression on peers, teachers and other parents. Do you allow your daughter to wear her sequined tutu over cowboy boots to the first day of preschool, or go for something a bit less flamboyant?

The way children dress reflects on the parents who walked their kids out the front door and into the classroom. If your children walk into school in flashy or mismatched outfits, will you be looked at as the parent who lets their children run wild?   Or, as the parent who lets their children’s imagination run wild?

One mom believed that allowing her kids to dress themselves would build their confidence, independence and decision-making skills. At first she was proud of her girls for picking out such eccentric outfits, but that feeling of pride was soon taken over by feelings of paranoia. Specifically?  She began to think that other parents were judging her parenting choices.

Which is more important – giving your children creative freedom, or adjusting to the norm to avoid raised eyebrows?

Choosing a happy medium may be a wise route to take. One way to do this is to establish certain days or events as designated ‘dress yourself’ days. Another option is to separate your child’s closet into designated sections for school clothes, fancy clothes, play clothes, weekend clothes, costumes, etc., and set the rule that costumes aren’t appropriate for school and fancy clothes aren’t appropriate for the park.

Setting ground rules like these early on might help avoid a future tantrum when you won’t let your son wear his batman cape to church.

You need 3 extra hours of childcare Friday night for a long-overdue dinner out with your husband and haven't had the time to call your old babysitters. Your au pair maxes out her 45 working hours every week Monday through Friday. She needs money for all the electronics she is trying to buy...why not do each other a favor and pay her for Friday night sitting? It seems so easy, so obvious, and a win-win for both parties.

Why do I strongly advise against this as an Area Director? It breaks the contract all hosts sign, for starters. And it begins to erode the rules that keep you both safe. Au pairs will feel an obligation to do you a favor if you ask, even if they might actually prefer not to do the task. And things will feel out-of-balance. Your au pair might feel justified to ask you for a half-day off the next week. You will think, humm, I paid extra for the babysitting, and now I am losing a half-day of care...The same holds true for many other kinds of "favors" I have heard about. Two days off this week in exchange for working all weekend next week. Cooking dinner repeatedly for the family in exchange for going out to a nice restaurant on Friday. Doing a list of errands for mom that have nothing to do with childcare.

The favors are infinite, the trouble always runs in the same vein. Usually there is a lot unsaid on each side. The au pair may think that they will be paid extra or get some kind of gift, bonus, or extra time off, although they seldom say so. The host ends up with a grumpy au pair who seems to feel resentment over basic duties. Hosts begin to feel taken advantage of, also, when they think they made a straight deal and the au pair is still asking for concessions two weeks later.

Save yourself a ton of trouble, and follow the simple rules of 45 hours a week, no more than 10 hours a day, one and a half days off weekly, and a full weekend off monthly. You'll have a clear conscience, no hidden debts, and an open, respectful relationship. Call the babysitter for Friday night.