Now we can finally get to the traditionaI part of the interview: asking questions! I have compiled a list of suggested pointers and questions,  some obvious, some not so much  (and I apologize ahead of time if some of these are repeats from previous posts or the Web site):

Don’t just ask yes/no questions, but open-ended questions, to get a sense of their level of English and personality.

Utilize the beauty of technology – SKYPE! It’s free, and actually seeing someone can show you so much more about who they are.

Remember that you can call the San Francisco AuPairCare office during regular office hours, Monday-Friday 8:30am-5pm PST, and they will connect your international calls for free.

Talk to an au pair at least twice on the phone or via Skype, but I suggest a lot more, and feel free to back things up via email. However, please do not use email, Facebook or instant messaging as your primary form of communication.

When talking to potential candidates, let them initiate interest and questions about the children. If an au pair is only asking questions about whether or not she has a car, cell phone, lives close to the beach but with little mention of your kids, I would certainly be leery.

Re-evaluate with au pairs their specific childcare experience as it relates to your children.

Re-evaluate with au pairs any medical conditions/allergies they may have  (especially if you have pets in the home).

Re-evaluate with au pairs their driving experience. Don’t just assume that because they have a license they are a good driver! Ask them how often they drive, what kind of car they are used to driving, and on what kind of roads.  After all, if they only drive an iddy-biddy car on a two-lane country road once a month, and you are expecting them to drive a mini-van on the freeway multiple times a day, you may be on course for a collision you could well do without.

Talk about yours and the au pairs’ eating habits. Vegetarian/Vegan? Health-conscious? Food allergies? Alcohol? Discuss whether you generally sit down as a family to eat meals on a regular basis or not.

Talk about the Extension Program and whether if all were in agreement at the time, this is something the au pair would consider. Some au pairs are only thinking of participating for one year to return home for school, work, etc. so it is good to ask early on.

Ask au pairs if they have a boyfriend back home. Plenty do, and it’s not a deal breaker, but could just mean that she may have a little more homesickness,  and you certainly don’t want a previously unknown boyfriend rocking up on your doorstep!

You can also get creative with questions such as: What chores did you have growing up? What kind of house did your parents keep?

What was your school experience like growing up?

If you are not in your bedroom, can you please go in there and explain to me/show me what it looks like?

And scenario-based questions such as: You are at the park with my toddler and she falls off the swing and hits her head. What do you do?

Finally, talk about yours and the au pair’s motivations for joining the program, as these can often differ considerably between host families and au pairs. Ask the au pair to describe one thing that is going to make this a happy and successful year, and explain what that might be for your family as well. By discussing this, both sides can have a clearer understanding of what will make the other happy!

I would love to hear some of your au pair interview questions to add to the list so please share any comments or tips!

You’ve now had a chance to take a look at yourselves as a family and assess not only who you are, but as such, what sort of au pair is going to fit in well with your family dynamic. Now, it is imperative that you convey this picture & more to au pairs, giving them a true and honest picture of what this “gig” is going to look like for them, should all parties agree on a match. 

New families often ask me,  "What are some of the common problems that come up between host families and au pairs?" Oftentimes, I tell them, issues arise because things are not properly divulged at the interview stage (and I certainly don’t mean to pass blame here, sometimes things just don’t work out for whatever reason, and it is no one’s fault). However, in my years as an Area Director, I have also seen the fall-out of misrepresentation, whether intentional or not. For example, an au pair not being aware she had to work weekends, or has no use of a car and lives out in the boondocks! I once had one family who were Kosher and they got a Thai au pair whose favorite foods were pork and shrimp. As you can imagine, this created a problem!  

Make sure that you fully cover as much as you can about your family situation, including personalities of all family members (plus pets!), what you like to do in your free time, family eating habits, religion, your neighborhood and, this is where Skype helps out a lot - your house and their room. Of course, also cover the work schedule and time off (including travel plans within the next year and how these would relate to the au pair), childcare duties, and house rules - such as curfews,  guests,  and, if applicable, rules for car usage, cell phone and computer. 

Having now laid your life out on the dining room table,  you’re ready for the third, final and perhaps, easy part;  questioning au pairs…

If you’ve made full use of AuPairCare’s award-winning website, you will already know that there is a list of suggested interview questions in Family Room for you to refer to, as well as other interview tips posted by my esteemed fellow bloggers. Having said that, I still feel the urge to cover this topic again (actually in 3 parts, since there is so much to say on the matter!).  I believe that the interview process is one of the most important aspects of hosting an Au Pair and sets you up for the very best year possible.

Part 1: Interviewing Yourselves - What kind of family are you, and what kind of au pair do you need?

When I interview new host families,  I devote much time to coaching them on effective interviewing of Au Pairs.  First off,  I like to get families to think about what type of family they are?;  what are their  interests, hobbies,  culture and routines?  With this in mind, they can better see what type of person would best suit their family.  We all are drawn to the cultural aspect of the program,  right?,  But at the same time,  you don’t want someone so culturally different from your family set-up,  that it could become a problem down the line.  For example,  if you are an outdoorsy family, ( as many of my LA families are),  then getting an au pair whose favorite hobby is watching TV and napping, is probably not going to work very well.  So,  that said,  going into the interview process with a clear vision of what sort of person you are looking for ie; active, Western European, driver, non-smoker, whatever…  is a great way to start off on the right foot.  I always balance this of course with;  go in with a clear picture of what you want, but try not to be so dogmatic that you can’t then ultimately go with your gut reaction.

So, step one: Interview yourselves: Who are you? And who is going to work well for you? Once you’ve answered these questions,  you will be ready to move onto Step two: Getting on the phone with au pairs…

As I leave many host family interviews, I usually end up having a conversation about the next steps - the interview process. I explain to families how to navigate our Family Room and encourage them to utilize their Matching Expert. Often, though we've gone over interviewing both on the phone and during the host family interview, host mom or dad will still ask me "so, how do I really know she is 'the one'?"
 
This is of course a valid, important question. How do you know that this is THE girl to spend a year in your home caring for your children? Each family is looking for something different, but one important place to start is experience. I encourage my host families to really comb each candidate's profile to really learn about their childcare experience. Were they an assistant in a center? Did they watch their own sibling? Full time nanny to 3?  Each of these types of experience is valuable, but maybe one type is more important for your family's au pair to posess.  
 

Hand in hand with this is what their job responsibilities were.  Most au pairs are instructed to carefully explain what exactly they did while caring for children.  If what you are interested in is not in their profile, ask!  If it is in the profile, ask for more information!  Never hesitate to ask for more, or clarification, regarding any of the qualities that are important to you.  

As you search the profiles, also pay close attention to some great gems: second time au pairs. These au pairs have successfully completed their original program, returned to their home country for two years, and then decided to return as an au pair. These young people know what it takes to get through the year. They will have very solid experience, be well equipped to deal with homesickness and know what they need to do to be successful.  Repeat au pairs are certainly worth interviewing.

I'd love to hear from some of our host families who have some tricks up their sleeve when it comes to gaining insight into and au pair's job experience!