I've asked some of our AuPairCare families what their favorite things are about being host families. Some said the authentic Greek/ El Salvadorian/ French food or adding family members from around the world and learning about where they live. Mine is hands-down sharing the child-related chores.  I love cooking, but I hate cleaning, sorting and organizing, so coming home to a house that only has MY stuff laying around is such a relief.  (My husband confines his mess to the garage!)

There were lots of different responses, but these were the top ten (from my casual, totally non-scientific survey):  

10.  Having a bedtime fairy to help get the kids to sleep.

9.  That my kids can have playdates after school.

8.  Not paying daycare late pick-up fees.

7.  Not having to drive to two different schools on the way to work.

6.  The second-language my kids are learning.

5.  The friendships my kids are developing with each other.

4.  The fact that my mom says I'm a better mom, wife, and worker because of my au pair.

3.  The margin it creates in my family's life.

2.  The standing date night I have with my husband.

1.  The affordable flexibility that I didn't have with daycare.

Do you have a favorite part of the program?  What is it?  How has it changed your family and work balance?  

…and no, I don’t mean making sure you’ve fully utilized all 45 hours in any given week!  What I mean is,  just like you should take time out to appreciate your family, life, “smelling the roses”, so too should you take time out to enjoy having an au pair, and to appreciate the unique and special experience this truly is. In light of the recent terrible events in Japan, I think it is important to take stock of our lives, to stop, just for a moment, to breathe, and to appreciate our current situation and the important people in it.

While hosting an au pair first and foremost fills a need we have for childcare,  it must too be remembered that hosting an Au Pair from another country is a privilege to be nurtured and cherished. Take time out from the to-do chore list to really learn about who your au pair is as a person and the place she is coming from. Try to spend family time with her, perhaps game night, or a day out – to just have fun together! When time permits, one-on-one time to chat not about the kids,  but as one adult to another. When you take the time to really get to know your au pair as a person, not just your childcare provider,  you will find that not only will the working relationship be greatly improved,  but that the whole experience will be enriched beyond measure.

I often share the following poem with my yoga students. I think it sums up this sentiment.

(Leisure: By WH Davies)

What is this life, if full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs,

And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,

Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

Not time to see,  in broad daylight,

Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to turn at beauty’s glance, and watch her feet,  how they can dance.

No time to waste,  till her mouth can,

Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this,  if,  full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

We'd love to hear about the special moments that have enriched your relationship with your au pair!